no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
