I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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