At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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