My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Did I show you my penis last night?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
