Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize