i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Randomize
