ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
cat food counts as protein by the way
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
