I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
