I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
