Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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