u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
