covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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