lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
