these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
