super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
