Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
