hotel room ftw
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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