We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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