2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
