So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
