goodnight i made you a song goodbye
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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