It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
