I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize