oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
