fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
