Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
