It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
