the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
smell my finger.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
