But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
