yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
