am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
