Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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