Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Randomize
