there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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