I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
