Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
