bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize