Having a random hookup so left but love u
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
