no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
