Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
