So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
