ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
