I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
