You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
