The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
