I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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