Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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