i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
