So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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