Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
