You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
