i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize