check it out our google latitudes are spooning
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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