when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
