And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
