He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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