Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
