And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
